Weddings in the 'Paradise of Earth'
Let's attend a Kashmiri Hindu Pundit wedding
Though Kashmir is geographically secluded in the valley of hills and snow, the Kashmiri society is close-knit and warm. Though they have a distinct cultural and ethnic entity, they are effervescent, elaborate, yet simple and easy-going. This characteristic trend is reflected in their customs and rituals too. Kashmiri marriages follow an odd number of rituals and most of them are for the sake of enjoyment and hardly follow any orthodox pattern.
The first step towards a Kashmiri wedding is the matching of the horoscopes or teknis of the prospective bride and groom. There are 2 main sects among the Kashmiri Pundits - the Raija Pundits who follow a non-vegetarian diet and the Shaka Pundits who follow a vegetarian one. In both cases it is the responsibility of the elders of the families to arrange the wedding. The wedding can take place in the morning or in the night.
Livun
An auspicious day is chosen for the livun, the traditional cleansing of the house before a wedding. The bride's family and the boy's family do not necessarily do the livun on the same day. On this day, the floors of the Kashmiri mud houses are cleaned and treated with a mixture of cow dung, mud and water. All the married female members of the family attend the ceremony. This is also the day when the waza or family cook arrives and puts together a mud-and-brick oven called war in the backyard of the house. This is where the traditional meals will be cooked for the wedding ceremonies.
Wanwun
Wanwun or music sessions are held every evening at the houses of the bride and the groom. Relatives and neighbours participate in these sessions.
Maanziraat
The maanziraat ceremony takes place a week prior to the wedding. It begins with krool khanun, a ceremony that involves decorating the door of the houses of the prospective bride and the groom. In the evening, the bride-to-be follows an elaborate bathing ritual, during which her maternal aunt washes her feet. After the bath, her eldest aunt decorates her hands and feet with maanz (henna). Maanz is also distributed among the relatives and neighbours. The women invited for this occasion are served a delicious Kashmiri meal prepared by the waza . After dinner, all participate in a lively wanwun or music session.
Devgon
The devgon is a ceremony that marks the transition of the bride and the groom from brahmacharya ashram to grihastha ashram . The girl's family and the boy's family in their respective homes observe the ceremony separately. Before participating in the rituals, the relatives of the bride and the groom observe a fast. The purohit conducts the ceremony in front of a sacred fire. The ornaments and utensils that will be given to the bride by her family are also placed in front of the fire. An essential part of the rituals is the kanishran . This involves bathing the boy / girl with a mixture of water, rice, milk and curd. Flowers are also showered over the boy / girl. They change into a new set of traditional attire following the kanishran . An essential item of the jewellery is the dijaru , an ear ornament, which is the sign of a married Kashmiri woman.
Duribat
This ceremony is held on the day of the devgon . The maternal relatives of the bride / groom attend it. Gifts are exchanged and a traditional vegetarian lunch is served.
Wedding Rituals
Bridal wear
The bridal dress is very elaborate for the Kashmiri girls. The bride has to wear a headwear, which consists of a long cap called Kalpush . The cap is folded two to three times and lined with either silk or cotton from inside. Over the kalpush , a long piece white cloth is wrapped at the forehead in three or four layers. A white scarf, called zoojh is wrapped over the kalpush . The entire headwear is called Tarang . A belt about two meters long and one-and-a-half meters wide, known as the Haligandun , with its loose ends embroidered, is tied to the waist of the bride.
Groom's attire
Kashmiri groom usually wears a pheran and the waistband. Other add-ons include a sword at his waistband and local embroidered shoes (paazar ) at feet. Custom has it that the groom's eldest paternal uncle (chacha ) ties the turban for him, known as the gordastar with a golden thread called dov , which is used to tie a peacock feather to the gordastar .
Ceremony at the groom's house
Before marriage procession leaves for the bride's house, the groom must stand on a vyog (a decorative pattern made of rice flour and colours). He is given nabad (sugar lumps) to eat, a conch shell is sounded to announce his departure, and two rice pots containing some money are given away as alms to the poor.
Receiving the marriage procession
On arrival of the marriage procession, relatives of the bride greet the procession warmly and is announced by blowing a conch shell. The groom and bride escorted by her maternal uncle stand on the vyog that has been specially created for the occasion. The eldest female member of the family feeds nabad to the bride and the groom and kisses them on the forehead. Two rice pots are given away to the poor. The couple is led by the family purohit to the door. He performs a small ceremony here called dwar pooja before leading them to the lagan mandap .
The wedding ceremony
The purohit performs the rituals in front of a sacred fire. One of the rituals, aathwas , requires the couple to cross their arms and hold hands in this position. Their hands are covered with a cloth. According to Kashmiri folklore, the first to be able to pull out the engagement ring of the other will be the one to play a dominating role in the relationship. A mananmal , golden thread, is tied to their foreheads. The left foot of the bride and groom are placed on a kajwat or grinding stone. The first phera around the sacred fire is made by stepping on seven one-rupee coins. There are a total of seven pheras . The bride and groom feed each other some rice at the end of the ceremony.
Vidai
The newly-weds must stand on the vyog while the eldest female member of the bride's family offers them nabad thrice and kisses them on the forehead. The bride is seated in a doli or palanquin. Her relatives and friends bid her good-bye as she sets off for her new home.
Welcoming the newly-weds
The groom's eldest aunt refuses the newly-weds entry into their home until she is given cash or jewellery. The couple must stand on a specially created vyog and have nabad , offered by the groom's eldest aunt. She kisses them on the forehead. A pair of pigeons is set free to celebrate the arrival of the newly-weds. The mananmal tied on the forehead of the couple are exchanged. The aunt leads them to the kitchen where they must sit on the mud stove. The waza serves them food and the aunt feeds them. After the meal, the bride changes into the new set of clothes and jewellery, presented to her by her in-laws.
Post-wedding rituals
Satraat
The bride goes to visit her parents in the evening. Her husband and a couple of children, probably those of her sister-in-law, accompany her. The newly-weds are given new clothes on this occasion.
Phirlath
This is the ceremony that takes place when the couple visit the bride's parents for the second time. Once again, they are given new clothes to mark the occasion.
Roth Khabar
On a Saturday or Tuesday after the wedding, the bride's parents send a roth or a traditional, long freshly baked cake, to their son-in-law's family. The bride accompanies the carrier of the roth (usually her brother) back home. She stays over for a few days and returns only when her in-laws send someone to fetch her back.
