Panda kaal muhurtham
A small ritual is performed one day before the wedding to invoke the blessings of the family deity to ensure that the wedding preparations proceed smoothly. The family of the bride and the groom pray to the deity who is symbolically represented by a bamboo pole.
Receiving the Groom
When the groom and his family arrive at the wedding hall on the morning one day before the wedding, they are welcomed with a tray containing offerings of flowers, paan supari, fruits and mishri. Rose water is sprinkled on the groom. The bride's brother applies a tilak of sandalwood paste and kumkum on his forehead and garlands him. The bride's mother offers the groom's parents a sweet dish prepared from condensed milk. A senior female member of the bride's family performs aarti and welcomes them. It is also customary to break a coconut to the ground as this is believed to help ward off evil spirits.
Vratham
Vratham is performed a day before the wedding by the family of the bride as well as that of the groom. They recite Vedic hymns in the presence of a priest (Vaadyar) and seek the blessings of a family deity. They also invoke the blessings of all their ancestors and pray for their intervention in removing those obstacles that threaten to disrupt the wedding proceedings.
Pallikai thellichal
The family of the bride begins this ceremony a day before the wedding. Clay pots are filled with with nine varieties of grain, married women from both the sides sprinkle water. During this ceremony, the others present sing traditional songs to the accompaniment of music. The next day when the grains sprout, these pots are immersed in a pond so that the fish in the pond may feed on the grains and bless the newly-weds abundantly.
Naandi
This ceremony involves honouring a few Brahmins with gifts and sweets. The Brahmins are invited to represent the souls of the ancestors of the bride and the groom. The families seek their blessings before beginning the marriage proceedings.
Jaanavaasam
A tradition which is rarely practised these days. The groom gets into a decorated car and is escorted to the wedding venue by a large and joyous procession of family and friends accompaned by professional musicians playing traditional wedding music. Sometimes there are also fireworks to celebrate the occasion. The girl's brother garlands the groom and receives him at the wedding hall.
Nicchiyadharatham
The bride's parents perform Ganesh Pooja in the presence of the officiating priest. The groom's side gives the bride a new sari. A tilak of chandan and kumkum is applied on her forehead, while the pallav of her sari is filled with fruits, paan-supari, turmeric, kumkum and coconut. A garland of flowers is tied around her waist. Aarti is also performed for her.
Reading of lagna pathirigai
The priest formally reads out the wedding invitation. Details on three generations of the lineage of the boy and the girl and other information on the muhurtam and venue is announced. This is followed by an elaborate dinner.
Mangala snaanam
The mangala snaanam is the auspicious and purifying bath that the bride and groom must have in their respective homes on the dawn of their wedding day. Before the bath they are anointed with oil and a tilak of haldi-kumkum.
Kashi yatra
After the mangala snaanam, the groom pretends to leave for Kashi, a pilgrimage center to devote himself to God and a life of prayer. He carries a walking stick and other meagre essentials with him to imply that he is not interested in becoming a householder. The girl's father intervenes and requests him to accept his daughter as his life partner and to fulfill his responsibilities as a householder The groom relents and returns to the pandal where he is received by the bride.
Exchange of garlands
This ceremony is full of fun and gaiety. The bride and the groom exchange garlands thrice. They are teased by their relatives. For instance they pull the girl away when the boy reaches forward to be garlanded by her and vice versa. The bride and the groom's uncles have to hoist them.
Oonjal
When the couple finally succeed in garlanding each other thrice, they are made to sit together on a swing. Married women from the families give spoonful of milk and banana pieces. They circle rice balls around the couple in circular motions in clockwise and anti-clockwise directions and fling them away. This rite is believed to prevent evil forces from disrupting the wedding ceremony. Another rite to perform for this involves the womenfolk going around the couple four times, holding in their hands a lamp or alternately, a container of water. Songs called Oonjal Paattu must be sung during these rites.
Kanyadaanam
The bride's father welcomes the groom when he comes to the mandapam where the sacred fire around which the wedding ceremonies will be conducted. The bride's mother applies kajal in the groom's eyes. The bride's father washes his son-in-law's feet. Through this gesture the father conveys that that the boy is an incarnation of Lord Vishnu and believes that he will support and take good care of his daughter. The bride sits on her father's lap with a coconut in her hands. The father and bride offer the coconut to the groom while the bride's mother pours water over the coconut thus symbolising the 'giving away of their daughter.' The groom's parents gift the bride a nine-yard sari to be worn for the auspicious occasion of tying the mangasultra.
Muhurtum
With the help of her sister-in-law and other aunts the bride changes into a nine-yard sari and again enters the mandapam. A sack of paddy is placed on the floor. The bride's father is seated on this and the bride sits on her father's lap. The sack of paddy symbolises good fortune and abundance in terms of material and spiritual wealth. The yoke of a farmer's plough is touched to the bride's forehead. This gesture carries the hope that the couple will always walk together, by each other's side to pull the plough of life. The priest and relatives bless the mangalsutra or sacred thread and hand it to the groom who ties it around the neck of his bride with two knots. His groom's sister ties the third knot much to the rejoicing of everyone accompanied by the drums of the melam. The three knots symbolise the marriage of the mind, spirit and body.
Saptapadi
The groom takes the bride's right hand in his left hand and leads her around the sacred fire seven times. The bride begins each round by touching her feet to a grinding stone. This signifies her hope that their union may be as firm and steadfast as the grinding stone.
Sammandhi mariyathai
The families of the newly-weds exchange clothes and other gifts befitting their status during this ceremony.
Laaja homam
The groom accepts popped rice from the bride's brother and offers it to the sacred fire or Agni. The blessings of Agni are sought as fire stands for the divine power and light of God.
Paaladaanam
The bride and groom seek the blessings of the senior members of the family by prostrating in front of them. They also offer them a gift of fruits and a token rupee.
Grihapravesham
The wedding rituals over, the bride is escorted to the groom's house. If he lives far from the venue, she is taken to the home of his nearest relative. She is welcomed into her new home with an aarati. Lunch is served at the venue after the newly-weds return.
Reception
After the series of religious ceremonies, the evening reception marks a tone of informality with the guests meeting the couple and conveying their best wishes to their families.
Katta saddam
The next day after the two day affair, the boy's side leave the marriage hall and proceed to their respective homes. The bride's side provide them with all the condiments like rice, dal, tamarind, coffee powder, appalam, pickles etc. They also give packed cooked food which include coconut rice, lemon rice, tamarind rice and curd rice.
