When in Rome....do as the Romans...
Weddings the Italian way
Amore e gelosia n acquero insieme
"Without jealousy there is no love." (famous Italian proverb)
So if you're considering tying the knot in Italy, or planning to attend a traditional Italian wedding elsewhere in the world, here's a look at something old, something new, something borrowed...from a variety of sources incorporating the ideals of traditional rituals with the practicality of immediate choices available to those of Italian Diaspora and / or couples wanting to get married in Italy.
Catholic, Civil or Symbolic
Italians, historically, have been the most fashionable, most innovative, most practical and probably the most fun-loving in the European union coterie. Their weddings also follow, in tandem, exemplifying the evolvement in their society and culture with a view to tradition while keeping pace with the enormous changes spearheading the country's political and social agenda, and its people while encompassing the country's spirit and soul in its entirety. Consequently, Italy of 2006 is much different than the Italy of the 60's and 70's and subsequently the weddings are also grander in scale, more elaborate, and lately that much more exotic.
Traditionally, Italians get married in a religious venue as a Church as 90 per cent of the population is Roman Catholic. (The remaining comprise of Jewish, Protestant and Muslim believers). Although most marriages are sanctified in a place of religious worship, the union is not officially recognised by the state. Thus civil formalities must also be completed.
A civil service in Italy gives you a fully legal marriage certificate, recognised throughout the world. The civil wedding takes place in the town hall, presided over by the vice-mayor, or his substitute. You will be asked to declare your status as free to marry, and will perform a brief service, concluding with the exchange of rings.
The ceremony is held in a meaningful way, and the articles of law are about your rights and duties within your family relationship.
To prove your status as free to marry, you will have to prepare several documents - and the paperwork prior to the service may be quite lengthy. (source www.italian-weddings.com)
Church vows
Numerous churches cover the country, some of the most famous being the Basilica of Marino in Venice, Church of San Giuseppe (Milan), and the church in Piazza dell Oratorio near the landmark Trevi fountain in Rome. Whether it's a small chapel or a huge synogogue the actual wedding ceremony stays true to tradition and the religious norms.
Vows are exchanged in front of a priest, family and guests in the place of worship. There is usually background music heralding the arrival of the bride who enters the Church on the arms of her father and is accompanied by her bridesmaids. The groom is waiting for her at the altar flanked by his best men. Once the vows and rings are exchanged the couple kisses before being sprinkled with confetti (a symbol of prosperity and health) as they leave the Church. The guest procession follows the couple to the venue for the dinner / reception. And Italians really believe in enjoying themselves. A 13 course meal is not considered unusual, lots of music, plenty of drink topped with good cheer and wishes and an umpteen tier wedding cake! Along the way couples sometimes participate in traditional games such as a pre-marriage obstacle race, rooted in Venice, where both are tested intellectual and athletic challenges symbolising and preparing them for the various ups and downs in life.
What is a Symbolic wedding?
A symbolic wedding is a non- civil (non legal) and non- religious ceremony, held by an officiant not related to any religious structure. In most cases, it is the couple who will write the text, and outline the schedule of the wedding. An option for many young couples is the symbolic wedding ceremony which gives the couple the freedom to conduct the nuptials on any locale. These days many couples head to seaside ocean resorts, or jump over to the luxurious islands of nearby Sardinia...they look North to the forests of Amalfi, the mountains, stretching south to ports of Siciliy, and Castiliogne della Pescaia to name a few. A common unifying thread weaving the different wedding themes centres around nature, vows, and spirituality.The sense of harmony and solace represents today's mantra as opposed to religious dictum which may have been the trend in the past.
Popular venues include: beach resorts, old castles such as the Odescalchi Castle which recently celebrated Tom Kats wedding.
Donna danno sposa spesa moglie maglio
The husband reigns, but it is the wife that governs (Italian proverb)
Wooing suitors and beloved
Italians traditionally don't date one-on-one as compared to youngsters in the US and other European countries. Young people tend to congregate in groups and socialise in that manner. It's only after the initial few meetings at this informal function that serious relationships sprout and the dating process actually starts.
Family is important to Italians. Both families, especially the girl's side, looks at the background, education, prospects and the potential of the boy. In turn, the criteria for a woman's worth for marriage is not only based on beauty, education and family background, but also on her ability to be a viable contributor to the marriage partnership through some type of vocation. Historically this can be traced back to the 17th century when women in Italy were judged on their ability to contribute to work on the farmland.
Ring of eternal love
Once the proposition is made by the boy and the girl (her family) has officially accepted. It's time to scout for a ring. Although a seemingly trivial task at first glance it is really one of the most important elements of the marriage ritual and ceremony.
According to historians, the diamond engagement ring symbolises an important Italian tradition. The flames of love that fuel the intense heat creates a diamond. And what's more, the diamond ring doesn't just symbolise the groom's adoration, it also represents the future facets and joys the couple's life is bound to hold for them.
