India, with its multiple religiosities is a veritable mine of cultures that abound in unique and specific customs. The deeper one enters her womb, the more varied one finds its cultures to be. For example, the Dawoodi Bohra sect within the Muslim community. Let's explore the conjugal customs of this small but distinctive community.
As most activities and events in the life of a Bohri occurs with the permission and approval of the religious leader, so does a marriage. In Islam, a marriage is seen as an extension of worldly life that was proposed by the Prophet. Taking the same forward, certain practices are to be followed for a wedding to implement uniformity among its variant followers. Most of the customs, excluding that of Nikah , are allowed to be followed according to one's convenience and means.
Pre-wedding rituals: The days preceding the wedding are a frenzy of activity and that's a fact that's true of all weddings. A couple of days before the wedding, the ceremony of mandvo is performed. In this ceremony, coconut, chopped dry fruit ( falool ) and nazral-maqam (a few coins pledged on a particular saint to keep evil eye away) are kept in a red cloth, the ends of which are tied in betel nut. This cloth is tied at the entrance of the bride and groom's houses by their paternal and maternal uncles and is actually called the mandvo . It is compulsory for the bride and groom to stay within the confines of the house once the mandvo has been tied.
The ritual of manek thamb follows where a small thick wooden stick (called the manek thamb ) placed on a red handkerchief, along with a flower garland and nazr-al-maqam , and tied with yellow strings is placed on the right hand side of the house entrance by a young girl who has not attained her puberty yet.
Another customary ritual is the ceremony of the beating of the katha . The ingredients for the ceremony have to be brought in a red handkerchief and it comprises of two coconuts, catechu, betel nut, cardamom, turmeric, camphor, chital chini , red and yellow strings and jasmine oil. The katha ceremony has to be performed separately for the bride as well as the groom. Maternal and paternal aunts should sit facing each other. The 'katha ingredients (are divided into four equal parts) and placed in a pestle and crushed. The four relatives are given gifts for being a part of this ceremony. The katha should finally be disposed off in mud or water body.
The maternal uncle ( mama ) of the bride and the groom perform the ceremony of mosala . The mama dresses the groom, and presents him with buttons and flower garland, and ties safa (traditional Bohri turban) on the groom's head, and helps him with the shoes. Likewise the mami dresses up the bride with lengha-odhni and helps her with the sandals. Then, four relatives, either faiji or sisters, symbolically place mehndi sticks on the right palms of both groom and bride. The uncle gives away gifts to all members of the family.
An important function before the wedding is that of the perahmni , the giving of gifts by the groom's mother to the bride. The groom's family gives the bride the dress she has to be married away into. The bride's family serves sweet drinks to all present in the form of sherbet, sweetened milk or cool drinks.
Wedding: The Nikah ceremony is the actual wedding ceremony of the Bohris. On a fixed date, four male members from the groom's family proceed to invite the relatives of the bride with gifts. Two members from the bride's side, authorized by her, act as her witnesses or vali . The willingness of the bride and groom is customary and so is naming of the amount of meher which is given to the bride by the groom. The priest then reads the Nikah and recites passages of solemnisation while the bride's father holds the hand of the groom. These three rituals are obligatory and without these the Nikah cannot be solemnised.
The dress of the groom and bride at the time of the Nikah is decreed too. The groom generally is attired in the traditional white kurta and pyjama with a long flowing white overcoat called saya . On his head he wears a Pheta (stitched turban) topped with a decorative feather stick ( Sar Pech ). The groom is also adorned with a takhti (a religious locket) and pearl / flower garland along with a Dushala (a cotton unstitched piece of embroidered zari cloth interwoven with velvet) to cover his left hand. On the right arm is tied a bazzo bandh (a round strip of velvet cloth of maroon colour inscribed with names of the five holiest saints of Bohris called Panjatan Pak )
The bride wears rich ghaghra choli and is adorned with mehendi and gold ornaments. The richly embroidered rida also accompanies her trousseau at the time of the Nikah.
Post-wedding: After the Nikah , the Meher amount is given to the guardian ( wali ) of the bride. Two members of the groom's party go with the Toran to the place where the bride is sitting and present it to her, and the bride's family reciprocates with gifts to the two persons. Toran consists of misri , coconut, beetle leaves, seven full pieces of supari , flower garland, rich garments and gold ornaments.
Another important ritual after the Nikah is the Salaam , the paying of respects to elders by kissing their hands, which the bride and groom performs to their mother-in-laws. This is a mark of accepting her as one's own mother and paying her similar respects. The mother-in-law reciprocates by offering rich gifts. When the bride ceremonially does Salaam to her mother-in-law, she carries a red kerchief with one of its corners wrapped and tied with a silver coin, one coconut, two full pieces of betel-nut and a certain amount of Salaam in money.
Post the wedding, both sides hold wedding feasts which are occasions of veritable festivities. Before the feasts, majlis (religious meeting of women) and darees (of men) are held to invoke the presence of the Almighty in all events. The reception of the bride at the venue of the feast is a rite in itself. The mother-in-law offers the bride pannu ; that is a welcome gift to the bride which is a decorative basket in which there are - two coconuts, two flower garlands, a small quantity of rice as a good omen, pan-betel nut, one set of rich clothing, a necklace, sweets and a gift for the bride's best maid. A pair of sandals for the bride is also placed besides the basket, the pair that she will wear to her husband's place.
After the feast, which is usually fit for a king even if low-budgeted, the bride's maternal uncle performs the chhera chheri ritual which consists of tying a red duppatta of the bride to the end of the shawl of the groom to symbolise their everlasting union. The bride is then sent away to her husband's place with lots of tears and well-wishes.
Most of these rituals happen with the prior intimation and approval of the abiding priest hence ensuring divine acceptance and existence of the marriage. Set within its own context this community continues to thrive with its niche traditions rooted in Islamic values. A reflection of what India holds within her heart.
