Folklores of knights in shining armour ready to save the damsel in distress and the fairy tales of Cinderella have painted a rosy picture of British marriages in our minds. And when you think of elegance and tradition, of pomp and ceremony, England surely comes to mind.
Read on to know more about the rich customs and rituals that are a part of a traditional English wedding.
Religious beliefs
The Church of England, a Protestant Episcopal Denomination, is the State Church. Most English marriages follow the rules of this church. However, other religions found in England include Roman Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, Congregationalist, Unitarian, Society of Friends, Muslim and Judaism.
Church marriages
As early as the 16th century, marriages were arranged by parents or guardians. Parents often made the marriage arrangements and betrothals while the bride and bridegroom were small children. The children would continue to live with their own parents and meet from time to time for meals or holiday celebrations. These pre-arranged marriages came under fire in the late 17th century when a judge held that marriages prior to the age of seven were "utterly void".
The Civil Marriage Act of 1653, passed by the Puritans under Cromwell, required a civil ceremony before a justice of the peace. The wedding ceremony consisted of a simple formula to be repeated by the man and woman and was accompanied by hand fastening. The use of a ring was forbidden.
Later the Catholic Church, in the Council of Trent, restated its position that marriage was one of the seven sacraments and therefore could not be dissolved.
Time & Place
Sunday used to be the most popular wedding day, as it was the one-day most people were free from work. However, Puritans in the 17th century put a stop to this, as they believed it was improper to be festive on the Sabbath. Saturday is the preferred choice of the masses in tying their nuptials.
As for the time of year, the saying "Marry in the month of May, and you'll live to rue the day" dates back to Pagan times. But since May, the start of summer, was dedicated to outdoor orgies, Queen Victoria is said to have banned her children from marrying in May. Traditionally, the safest season to marry is between the harvest and Christmas, when food was plentiful. An old English rhyme says "Marry in September's shine, your living will be rich and fine" and "When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last."
Customs and superstitions
Superstitions play a very important part in English marriages, so much so that they have slowly been accepted as customs.
The tradition of tying old shoes to the back of the couple's car, for example, stems from Tudor times when guests would throw shoes at the bride and groom, with great luck being bestowed on them if they or their carriage were hit! In Anglo Saxon times to establish his authority the groom symbolically struck the bride with a shoe. Brides would then throw shoes at their bridesmaids to see who would marry next.
It is customary for the bride to be given a decorative horseshoe, which she carries on her wrist. The horseshoe is given for good luck.
In the 17th century, wheat was cast at the head of the bride when she came from church. Now it's customary to throw colorful paper confetti or rice at the bride and groom as they leave the church after the ceremony.
In Wales, the bride is always carefully lifted by the groom over the threshold on her return from the marriage ceremony because it is considered very unlucky for a bride to place her feet on or near the threshold and trouble was in store for the maiden who preferred walking into the house.
Flower power
Flowers have always been a big feature at weddings. The groom is supposed to wear a flower that appears in the bridal bouquet in his button-hole. This stems from the Medieval tradition of a knight wearing his lady's colours, as a declaration of his love.
Also a flower girl leads the way of the couple to the Church, sprinkling petals of organ blossoms along the road. This signifies a happy route through life for the bride and bridegroom.
Dressing up
According to a popular Victorian rhyme, it is considered good luck for the bride to wear "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" on her big day. 'Something blue' is thought lucky because "blue" represents fidelity and constancy. The custom began in ancient Israel where brides wore a blue ribbon in their hair to symbolise their fidelity. 'Something old' is symbolic of continuity. The old item is often a piece of lace or a grandmother's scarf or an old piece of jewelry. 'Something new' signifies hope for the future, and can be anything from a piece of clothing to the wedding band itself. 'Something borrowed' is symbolic of future happiness and is often provided by a happily married friend of the bride.
Green dresses are always avoided, as it is though to be unlucky. To say a girl 'had a green gown' also implied that she was of loose morals. Queen Victoria, who broke the tradition of royals marrying in silver, popularised white dresses which stands for purity and virginity.
Other traditions are that the bride should never make her own dress, that the final stitch should not be completed until she is departing for the Church and that she should never try on the entire outfit before the day or practise signing her new name until it is legally hers. Even the wedding linen is marked with the bride's maiden rather than married initials. The tradition of bridesmaids evolved from the custom of surrounding the bride with other richly dressed women, in order to confuse evil spirits.
The groom wears a suit with a white shirt. Only at large and formal weddings do they wear a tuxedo. Business suits are normal. The bridegroom has a best man, who also wears a business suit.
Preparation
Once it is decided that a couple will marry it has to be checked that the marriage will conform to the Bible laws and principles as well as to the law of land (monogamy). Then practical matters like the date and the type of wedding ceremony is considered. One week before the wedding day the bride has a "Hen's night" and the bridegroom has a "Stag party" similar to bachelor/bachelorette parties.
If the couple plans to marry in a church, banns announcing the proposed wedding are read aloud in the church three Sundays before the wedding. It is unlucky for the bride and bridegroom to be present at the calling of the banns.
Way to church
The wedding party walks to the church together in a procession. Walking is thought to be the best way of getting to Church, as there is more chance of spotting lucky omens. Seeing a rainbow, having the sun shine on the bride and meeting a black cat or a chimney sweep are all lucky.
Bad omens include seeing a pig, spotting an open grave or monks or nuns as they foretell barrenness and a life dependent on charity.
The wedding ceremony
The ceremony (most often in the Anglican Church) usually consists of two or three hymns. English fathers don't kiss their daughters at the altar. During the ceremony, the couple will leave the sanctuary area and with the priest enter the vestry to sign the wedding documents. They are considered officially married after this is completed.
At the benediction, a square piece of cloth, the "care cloth" is held over the bride and bridegroom. Church bells ring as the couple enters. They play a different tune as the newlyweds exit to scare off evil spirits.
Food
Traditionally English weddings take place at noon. After that there is a seated luncheon, called a wedding breakfast.
The wedding cake was originally broken over the bride's head to bestow good luck and fertility. Today's three-tier wedding cake is based on the unusual shape of the spire of Saint Bride's Church in London. Traditionally the newly-weds should make the first cut to signify sharing their life. Every guest then eats a crumb to ensure good luck. And sleeping with a piece under her pillow is said to make a single woman dream of her future husband.
The throwing of confetti meanwhile is an ancient fertility rite. Handfuls of grain or nuts were traditionally thrown because they are 'life-giving' seeds. In some European countries, eggs are thrown instead.
After this the bride and groom dance the first dance.
Wedding gifts
Family members pass around the bride's general list of items she needs. There is no such thing as a "shower." Guests take their gifts to the reception where they are opened. Monetary gifts are very rare.
