Who said Calcutta is dying? The poor sod must not have been to a marwari business community wedding to witness the excesses and thus harbours this misconception!
The story begins the moment the boy and girl give the nod, the parents heave a sigh of relief and get the machinery cranking to host the mother of all weddings. (Yes, times have changed a bit what with Australian and British educations becoming a vogue and mutual consent has become important.)
The Wedding Committee
Any decent sized Calcutta Marwari family has its own wedding planning mechanism. There are at least a couple of Aunts who are considered authorities in trousseau shopping, another couple who are patriarchs of rituals and surprise surprise, at least 1 male member in the family who has experience in Food & Beverage. And thus the Wedding Committee is formed.
This should give Wedding Planners some food for thought. You would need to please all the various parties before getting the full go ahead. Just repeating well-rehearsed lines a la' Lopez will not work! You can also expect endless meddling from the start to the finish of the event from the entire Wedding Committee - so be prepared.
I guess this is one of the reasons why Calcutta does not have any well - known Wedding Planners, and only niche product suppliers. For example, you can get someone to do an exquisite ghaghra for you or even design the entire trousseau to your liking, someone who specializes only in decoration of the gifts sent to the opposite side (this in fact is one of the trademarks of Calcutta Weddings) and then of course, there is high emphasis on the food.
Niche Suppliers - The Food Factor
You see food is not just part of the entertainment, but it takes over the entire party. Any slip-ups on the food might not be easily forgotten by either side and can sometimes become a bone of contention for the rest of the families' lives. Personal attention and care is important as is the concept of FRESH, HOT, and LIPSMACKING.
It would not be incorrect to say, that Calcutta Weddings sport some of the most elaborate menus seen anywhere in India. I have personally seen parties where there are over 8 different 'world' cuisines being served and each better than the other. Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'Excess' doesn't it?
Enter Entertainers!
All food and no play would make the party a bit dull! Calcutta has slowly but steadily grown out of the culture of having the family provide the entertainment to professional entertainers. Sandeep Vyas is highly popular as a performer in the bachelor do's. Other groups and entertainers (some even talk about belly dancing!) have slowly gained a foothold and hosts today feel the need to make the party memorable in more ways than one (I am referring to the food, what were you thinking of?)
The Gifting Extravaganza
The greatest display of excessive spending is at the various levels of 'dena-lena', which happened in every single wedding I have ever attended. One would think that these were a thing of the past and have little bearing on the acceptance of the families. But reality suggests that our primal instincts are not yet extinguished and this is an area when the families (mostly the bride's side) tend to overstep budgets horribly to please the groom's side and hopefully secure acceptance for their daughter. In this process debts are commonplace.
Sometimes it is sad to see that the girl usually does not get a nest egg to help her out in the future should any untoward incidents happen in her life. Obscure relatives are showered with gifts and I am surprised to see people dish out large sums of cash during these occasions where they would shy away from making the same kind of investments in their own business for future growth. (I guess this comes from the fact that as my husband puts it, I am a true Baniya's daughter and always think of productive and non-productive expenses)
More Expenses
With all this wedding talk, could jewellery shopping be far behind? This is again a potentially-damaging-excess-expense-area. A 7-carat diamond ala Neeta Ambani is not unheard off and though Calcutta might be a bit behind on buying big rocks, wedding time is one when everyone goes all out!
The other trappings of flamboyant marriages include honeymoons. Holidaying in India on your Honeymoon is a strict no-no. The bride and groom would rather go on a world tour for two months and see all the sights even if they don't get to know each other (well they do have the rest of their lives to do that don't they?).
Having lived my entire life in the city, I am still amazed at some of the excesses, which happen during weddings. Being a self-employed professional also makes my mind do a bit of math while witnessing such orgies. Recently at a decently well off marwari household wedding (which was actually a love match), the brides father ended by footing the entire expense for the parties thrown by the grooms side. Reason? No one knows. Another one was rumored to have dinner served at Rs. 7, 500 per head. Total number of guests - about 1, 200!
Moral of the story? None actually. This is life as it happens. I hope that more and more people in the city spend the cash (which is good for the local economy) but get their moneys worth!!
Note: The opinions expressed in this article are the writers own. The writer is based in Calcutta, India.
