Hindi-Chini bhai bhai
We reveal a surprising affinity in the two cultures, especially marital rituals
There is a lot to be said about India belonging to the geographic category of the Orient. The dis-affinity between China and India is no secret but the affinity in our cultures, especially marital rituals are not only numerous but similar to the point of being same. For the sake of clarity and context, the customs explored here are ancient and traditional but the only difference age has made to them is of dilution due to concerns of feasibility and minor changes to avoid obsoleteness. The intent and thrust of each custom and ritual have remained the same.
Purpose: Beginning from the beginning, as per the mechanism of a collectivist society, in the Indian as well as the Chinese context, marriages were meant to bring together two families. The purpose was to secure inheritance, maintain honour and continue the lineage through procreation. Marriages for love, which are a western concept, were un-heard of.
Fixing an alliance: In traditional India as well as China, before the advent of the western influence, the families chose the suitable bride and groom for their offspring. In a traditional set-up, the first step is a formal proposal or request sent by the groom's family to the bride's through the go-between. If accepted, horoscopes are matched by an astrological expert, just as in India. The Chinese kundli consists of a formal document made from the eight characters constituted by the year, month, date and hour of the birth of the bride and groom. If the astrologer finds the horoscopes compatible the alliance was fixed by both parties and initial gifts of cash, food etc are presented, what is popularly called in India as shagun . The wedding date is fixed by an astrological aspect after consulting the Chinese calendar similar to the Hindu tradition of selecting an auspicious date based on the Hindu calendar.
Predominance of red: The presence of the colour red in a Chinese marriage is even today all-pervasive. As in the Indian culture, 'red' is symbolic of joy as well as in auspicious functions as these, it is meant to ward off evil influences as well. Similarly, white is its anti-thesis and used to express sorrow hence it is a complete no-no at weddings. The emphasis on red in a Chinese wedding is such that beginning from the bride and groom's wedding dresses to decorations and gifts wraps and cash envelopes, most things are in red.
Dowry: An unspoken necessity, the bride's dowry was sent to the groom's place a day in advance of the wedding and like in India, consisted of valuable items like jewellery, precious stones, embroidered beddings, kitchen items, furniture etc. Of course, the nature of the gifts changed according to the ages but the systems still persists in traditional societies and countrysides as in India, despite its volatile and dubious nature.
Pre-Wedding rituals: The preparation for the Chinese wedding constitutes myriad rituals, small and big which include symbolic ones like the hair-combing ritual for the bride and capping ritual for the groom which symbolises the attainment of adulthood. The installation of the bridal bed to receive the bride does not find an echo in Indian culture. But what is strikingly similar is reception of the bride by the groom. As is wont in Indian marriages the groom's party comes to the bride's house amidst fanfare and celebration to take the bride away. Not only is this Chinese version of our baraat an arresting similarity but so is the manner. As the Indian bride goes away in the doli (of course now it's a car) so does the Chinese groom takes away his bride in a sedan chair carried by attendants. The only difference and a glaring one is that in the Indian context the groom takes the bride home once they are married and in the Chinese context he takes her home to be married. Yet, in either case the groom has to first negotiate the bride's maid and in the Indian context, her friends and relatives as well, before he can take his bride home. Red packets containing cash are given away as price for taking his bride. In China there are elaborate door games that the bride's side plays with the groom in order to let him access to the bride.
At the threshold of her new abode the bride is required to step over a saddle and a lit stove. The fire is meant to cast away evil influences and the saddle is meant to stand for tranquility as the word for "saddle" and "tranquility" sound the same in Chinese. The Indian bride steps in a plate of kumkum and kicks in a pot full of rice to welcome prosperity and wealth into the house. Specifics apart, the welcoming of the bride at the threshold signifies the importance given to the new entrant into the family who is going to ensure progression of lineage.
The Chinese wedding ceremony is comparatively very simple consisting of the pair kneeling at the ancestral altar, sipping of red wine from the same glass followed by the tea ceremony.
Jokes, games and teasing between the bride's family and the groom's are an essential part before the couple are left alone in the marriage chamber. This is a scenario which is a familiar sight in Indian weddings as well across communities. The lightness of the almost ritualistic teasing fosters an atmosphere of bonhomie between families and eases the tensions of the ceremony and its preparations. In the olden times it also served to break the ice between the bride and groom as they had not seen each other till that point of time.
Post-wedding rituals: The morning after the wedding, the bride is supposed to get up early and cook for the family to exhibit how well brought-up she was. A day or three days later the newly-weds return to visit the bride's father's house as part of the completion of the rituals where the bride is now received as a guest.
Whether the emphasis is on the union of souls or the union of families, marriage is a sanctimonious ceremony. Ritualistic similarities apart, myriad thematic similarities are found between cultures as diverse as the Occidental and Oriental. Within the Indian and Chinese context, the similarities are justified by the community-oriented structure of these societies. We would love to hear about other such reasons of similarities between rituals of extremely diverse races and of course your opinions on the same!
