The Mudi : Engagement ceremony
At the 'mudi' or engagement ceremony, the bride and groom exchange rings, blessed by a priest who also says a prayer for the couple. There is a promise made to each other that the wedding will be held within a mutually agreed time frame. It also indicates the beginning of a period during which the boy and girl get to know each other.
Bridal Shower
The bridal shower is basically the last party the bride gives as a maiden and the invitees are mostly all women. It also gives friends and family a chance to spend time with the bride before she starts her married life. The bridesmaids may host the shower. It is similar to the ladies sangeet function in Hindu weddings. The bride gives gifts to the bridesmaids and serves a pink cake with a thimble hidden inside. It is believed that the girl who gets the piece of cake with the thimble will be the next to marry.
The Bachelor Party
The bridegroom hosts this party on the eve of the wedding or few days before the wedding for his friends. The groom is expected to enjoy his last few nights as a bachelor.
Dowry
Traditionally, the groom's parents ask for a certain amount of money, which has to be sent the night prior to the wedding along with the bride's belongings and the trousseau. The groom's mother may also ask for a certain amount of gold, articles etc., to be given by the girl's parents. However today many families have eliminated this tradition.
The Roce
On the day prior to the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are anointed with 'roce' (thick coconut milk). Relatives and friends join in to pour coconut water over the bride and groom at their respective houses. After this ceremony the bridal couple is not allowed to meet till the church ceremony, which is held the following day. For the 'roce' the bride generally wears her mother's wedding sari called the 'sado' along with old family jewellery (or instead of the sado the bride can wear any other outfit). The outfit worn during the roce have to be given away and not kept back. Unmarried cousins sit around the bride and the groom and sing traditional Konkani songs called 'vovio'.
Post - nuptial customs and rituals
Tying of mangalsutra (piduk)
After the nuptials are over the couple returns to the reception hall. A black beaded necklace called 'piduk' which bears the same significance as the traditional 'mangalsutra' (Hindu symbol of a married lady) is blessed by the priest and is tied around the bride's neck by the bridegroom.
Throwing her posy of flowers
After the dinner is over, the couple leaves the reception. At this juncture according to popular belief the bride must throw her posy of flowers behind her. The belief being that the girl who catches it will be the first to marry.
Bride's departure (oupsoon)
Outside the reception hall, the bride's family assembles at one end and the groom and his family at the other end. Then the father of the bride hands the bride over to the groom. Everybody sing the oupsoon (departure) song and the couple departs in the wedding car. Friends and relatives shower confetti on the couple as they leave. This concludes the celebration of the wedding.
