The existence of Stridhan is an ingrained part of Indian culture from times of yore. As male dominated as the society may be, the existence of the custom of 'bride price' indicates that women understood the importance of financial independence and safeguarding their interests long before the feminist movement made it popular to do so.
According to the age-old smritis and old schools of Hindu Law, Stridhan comprises of all gifts made to the woman by her parents, friends and family before, during and after her marriage. It includes any auspicious objects that she may take to her husband's home as well as her entire trousseau. It also includes any gifts of love or affection bestowed upon her by her husband, his family and friends. The Stridhan was meant to give the new couple a fresh start in life and help them set up a new home and start their own family. It included any bride price paid to the girl's father as well.
In modern days, gifts of jewellery and clothes are given to the bride at the 'engagement ceremony' by her in-laws. This is a gesture of sincerity to officially announce the betrothal. Bride price is the term traditionally used for these gifts. As per modern Hindu laws of Stridhan, a woman has complete authority and rights over her Stridhan.
Our forefathers tried to give a lot of emphasis to this ritual as they thought it would provide the bride with economic protection against divorce, or the death of the groom when the money would enable her to remarry or at least to support herself. It was also a means whereby the bride's family could share the expenses of beginning a new and self-sufficient household as the bride moved to the groom's home instead of the other way around. In case of her death, the money was usually passed on to her children.
Though the concept of Stridhan varies from one school of thought to the other, the ultimate destination of all the materialistic possessions that the bride gets in her wedding, is her wardrobe too. Lets see how the different regions in India go about commemorating this ritual.
Muslims - Meher
The most well known incident of Stridhan occurs in a Muslim wedding, where the bride price is called the Meher. The bride's family and the groom's family are seated separately with a partition between them. The elders of the two families then decide upon the amount of meher, which is either fixed at an affordable price or as per the tradition of their family. Meher is a sum of money, which the husband has to give his wife anytime after marriage and in case there is a divorce the amount has to be given immediately to compensate her for the broken marriage.
Goans - Denem
Goan brides carry several items in sets of seven each like towels, pillowcases, bed sheets, handkerchief, nightgowns and even undergarments. But what they must necessarily carry with them to their new home is a cupboard, a dressing table, a bed and a sewing machine, among other household products given to them by relatives. This is their Stridhan or Denem.
Mizo - Manpui
In the Mizo community, this ritual is carried out in a very elaborate and interesting form. When the boy approaches his finance's parents for the permission of marriage, the first thing he has to do is settle the bride price. If the price among other things are acceptable to him then, and only then are the two allowed to get married. Thus the settlement of the bride to be paid by the bridegroom is an essential pre-requisite to Mizo wedding.
This price can be paid on the eve of the wedding. Also a part of the bride price is held back as a sort of security for paying off the debts to befall on the next generation. In case of the death of the husband, the son is obliged to pay the bride price. The principal bride price in Mizoram is called Manpui, the rate of which is around rupees eighty per unit.
Besides this, there happens to be subsidiary bride prices like Sum Hurai and Sum Fang. These prices are to be paid to the bride's father and brother. The bride's sisters are entitled to Naupuak Puan, which is to be paid to them for having taken care of the bride in her childhood. Then a particular amount of the money known as Patal goes to the bride's foster father. Even the bride maids get some money known as Thianman.
Gujaratis - Saanch
A Gujarat bride's family gives Stridhan in a huge bandhani bag decorated with beads known as the Saanch. Whatever has to be given to the bride must fit into it. This mostly consists of sarees, some utensil, cushions, bedcovers sheets and another small bag called Kalchi. This bag is made to carry food in it and is especially designed by the bride for her husband.
On the day of the Mehendi, Gujaratis also give away small Saanchs to all the women present at the ceremony. They are filled with 4 kinds of dry fruits and some silver coins or money or gifts. This is to ensure that the bride always has enough wealth to share with all her friends and family.
Bengalis - Sindoor Dani
In a Bengali wedding, the bride is considered to be more valuable than any materialistic possessions. So all she is supposed to carry along with her is Sindoor Dani or the vermillion container.
Punjabis - Stridhan
In some Punjabi wedding, a bride is supposed to take quite a lot from a needle to a car and everything in between as stridhan. She is known to be a home-maker therefore she is expected to bring everything that one requires to set up a home, along with her after marriage.
Sindhis - Seja
As a stridhan, a Sindhi bride is supposed to take a Seja bed along with the mattresses, pillows, cushions and quilts along with her. Besides, for the bride's family, it is compulsory to give money - no particular limit on the amount to the newly weds.
One of the most beautiful events in one's life, marriage is not only the conjugality of two bodies, two souls and two lives, but also the union of two families, two cultures and two traditions. The most valuable Stridhan a bride can bring with her are her values, morals, trust and love.
