Across cultures
Universal marriage rituals that cut across borders
Marriage, the seat of love, might be procedurally different from culture to culture. What is behind the rituals of marriage are few but universal blessings wished for the bride and the groom. All weddings begin and end on the same note. All weddings mean to wish the couple joy, prosperity, fertility and keep away evil influences and bad luck. Over the years, various symbolic acts and gestures have grown to become necessary rituals, but on a basic level, they are just that, symbolic gestures which mean to wish the couple well.
Keeping evil influences / bad luck away: As the divine element supercedes everything in the marriage ceremony, so is the presence of its antithesis, a dreaded belief. To safeguard the to-be weds, various rituals are customarily undergone all over the world.
Traditionally, fire is supposed to ward off evil spirits. Since ancient times it has been believed that the newly-weds, and especially the bride, are very susceptible to evil influences, thus began the Jewish custom of the bride holding candles on her way to the chuppah ( mandap ) . For a similar reason the Chinese burst firecrackers throughout the journey of the groom on his way to get his bride home and back. Not only that, at the threshold of the groom's house, the bride is asked to step over a saddle and a lit stove (as the word for both is ngan and as fire is believed to scare away evil spirits).
Within Europe, there always have been a myriad such rituals to ward off evil spirits. In Germany, before the marriage ceremony, there is a custom of breaking china plates brought by relatives and pieces swept up by the couple. The breaking of china was supposed to keep evil influences away. In the custom of the bride carrying something old, something new etc., the old was supposed to be carried to ward off evil spirits, as was the belief in Ancient Europe. Irish bridegrooms are given a horseshoe to tie for a similar reason. The Christian bride wears a veil as a protection from evil spirits and her bridesmaids wear gowns like her to confuse the evil spirits. In the Indian context, at the time of kanyadaan (entrusting the daughter) a white cotton cord is kept around the shoulders of the groom and bride to ward off evil influences. In Persian weddings, the "Sofreh-ye Aghd "(decorated spread with various items on it) has a tray of seven multi-colored herbs and spices "Sini-ye Aatel-O-Baatel " to guard the couple and their lives together against the evil eye, witchcraft and to drive away evil spirits.
Fertility: Traditionally, marriage has always been a social ritual for procreation and progression of lineage necessitated by feudalism. Hence, wishing the couple fertility gains prime importance. In almost all cultures worldwide, food items are considered symbolic of fertility and hence their presence in some form or the other. In the Christian context, flowers also signify fertility and hence there is an abundance of it at the time of the ceremony. Wedding cakes, be it in China or Britain, traditionally are made of wheat or barley as these symbolise fertility. In Germany, relatives and friends throw rice on the bride to wish her many children and it is said that the number of grains that remain stuck in her hair, she will have that many children. In China, tradition holds that after the installation of the bed ceremony at the groom's place, children are asked to climb onto it and seeds, dates and nuts are sprinkled on the bed. Italians give sugar-coated almonds to guests as these represent fertility and similar is the reason for the use of coconut in the Indian context. The Persian "Sofreh-ye Aghd " has a basket of decorated eggs and a basket of decorated almonds, walnuts and hazelnuts in the shell to symbolise fertility.
Eternal happiness and joy together, prosperity: The whole purpose of marriage is unifying two souls in undying harmony. This wish is expressed in the multitude of flowers as a decoration as well as symbolic items in the Christian context. Ancient Greeks used ivy for bouquets as it stood for everlasting love and it is used for trimming bouquets even today. The European tradition of a penny in a shoe was meant to bring good luck and prosperity. The predominance of the red colour in Chinese and Indian marriages is for the same reason as the colour red stands for joy and celebration in Oriental cultures. In Mexico, relatives toss red beads upon the couple to wish them luck and in Hispanic culture, a lasso or figure of eight is wound around the wrists of the bride and groom to symbolise eternity. The Jewish custom of the wedding ring being a smooth and plain ring of pure gold is a beautiful way of signifying that the bond between the couple now is seamless, pure and eternal like the ring. In the Scottish custom, the groom gives the bride a silver teaspoon to symbolise prosperity and that they may never go hungry. The Indian tradition of mehendi is to signify long-lasting love. In the Persian context, a bowl of gold coins is laid out on the "Sofreh-ye Aghd " which represents wealth and prosperity. Similarly, the Chinese lay out a grain measure and a string of copper coins as talismans of prosperity at the time of the bride crossing the threshold.
It is simple to see that diverse as cultures maybe and even more diverse the ways of expressing the wishes maybe, bonds of the heart are always wished happiness and prosperity for lifetimes to come.
