Rituals may be passé, but they helped in breaking the ice between the two families in a betrothal.
When it comes to weddings, almost everyone is superstitious. There are a large number of traditions linked with weddings in India, but it is impossible to follow all of them. Most of these rituals, superstitions and customs date back to ancient times. But all of them have to do with bestowing good luck and fertility on the newly-married couple.
All for good luck...
As the new bride enters the threshold of her new house, flower petals are sprinkled along the bride's path by young girls in the hope of providing a happy path in life. Some regions have a custom where the bride carries a horseshoe in her hand in order to ward off evil spirits and bring in good luck to her marriage. In Germany, the bride carries salt and bread in her pocket for prosperity and the groom carries grain for wealth and good fortune.
Rice is used as a symbol of fertility. In many Indian weddings both the bride and the groom are showered with rice grains when they leave for their new home. This signifies prosperity. In France, wheat is showered and in Italy it is confetti, which is a combination of coins, dried fruits and candy. Nowadays, flower petals, paper, baubles and balloons are used more often.
An old tradition in England is that guests throw shoes at the bride and groom as they leave in their carriage. It a shoe hit the carriage it was considered an auspicious omen.
In Bulgaria, traditionally figs are thrown at the newly-weds after marriage.
In France, laurel leaves are spread outside the door of the church. After the reception, friends of the couple "interrupt" the wedding night by banging pots and pans to the accompaniment of loud singing outside the bedroom window. The groom is supposed to invite the friends into the house for refreshments. In Germany too there is a lot of merriment and celebrations on the occasion of the wedding. The couple and their friends go for dinner afterwards. The next evening friends and neighbours visit the couple for a wedding-eve party. On this day, breakable plates are broken as a sign of good luck.
In Greece, the bride and the groom are crowned as king and queen on their wedding day. Then the traditional Greek dance - Kaslamantiano or the Circle Dance is performed at the reception ceremony. Chocolate-coated almonds are given to the guests as gifts. In Mexico, the guests form a heart-shaped circle around the couple before their first newly-wed dance.
In Ireland, there is a famous dance called "Janting Char" performed at the reception. . The groom is placed in a chair, and he is carried in it to meet his guests. The bride wears the legendary Claddagh wedding ring. Legend has it that there was this Irish man who was taken prisoner just before his wedding.
For years he laboured in a foreign land and taught himself the art of jewellery-making. After his return, he found that his maiden had stayed unmarried. Filled with happiness he fashioned this wedding ring - a heart held by two hands and with a crown over it. Wedding rings enjoy a prominent place in weddings. The circle is the symbol of sun, the earth and the universe, of continuity and love. It is worn on the third finger because of an ancient Greek belief that a vein from that finger goes directly to the heart, called "the vein of love".
Shoes-off-at-the-door...
One popular Indian custom is the ritual of hiding shoes of the groom.
"Dulhe ke salihyon...hare dupatte waliyon...joote dedo...paise lelo..."
This song glorifies this interesting custom. When the couple reaches the marriage hall for the 'pheras', the groom removes his shoes. The bride's sisters quietly try to hide his shoes while the groom's younger brother and friends try their best to keep them at bay. If the girls manage to hide the shoes, then they tease and taunt and demand a preposterous sum of money in exchange for his shoes. The groom is left with no alternative but to pay up the ransom to the 'saalis' (the bride's younger sisters). This custom adds a lot of merriment to the ceremony. Though the groom is at the receiving end in this custom, he eagerly awaits this chance to interact with his "saalis".
As per the Sindhi tradition, as the bride enters her new house she has to take some salt in the palm of her hands and exchange it with the groom's relatives. This ritual was a way of getting to know the bride and welcoming her to become a part of the family.
Soundtrack delights...
The British Asian weddings are vibrant occasions with lots of music and dance. From Bollywood soundtracks like Aaj Meri Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai (listen) and Teri Rab Ne Banai Jori to Joote Dedo Paise Lelon and Bhangra bands, wedding DJs are diversifying into live roadshows.
Christians wear a white wedding dress as a symbol of chastity and joy. After the ceremony, weddings bells are rung to scare away the evil spirits. There was another strange custom of some close relatives wearing clothes similar to the bride and groom. This was to confuse evil spirits who would then be unable to recognize the couple to cast any evil spells!
The best man is the groom's best friend who accompanies him to the wedding altar. In ancient times, when there was a shortage of women and it became necessary for the groom to capture his bride from the neighbouring village. The bridegroom was accompanied by one of his strongest friend or "best man" to help him and thus the term best man has come about.
In ancient times, bridal bouquets were made of special herbs and spices. This was done to ward off the evil spirits. Some particular herbs also symbolizes fertility.
The bride enters her new home for the first time through the front door. It was considered inauspicious if she tripped or stumbled while entering the new house. Hence there is the tradition of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold.
Coup de marriage...
The French couple had their first drink from a special double-handled cup, a coupe de marriage usually passed down generations. In China, during a wedding ceremony the couple has to drink wine and honey from goblets tied together with red string. This is because red is considered the colour of love and joy.
In Japan, the couple becomes man and wife after they take the first sip of the sacred drink, sake. Thereafter, they take eight more sips of sake.
An ancient Christian tradition was that the groom would kidnap the bride and take her to a hidden place. By the time the bride's family tracked her down the bride would probably already be pregnant. A "bride price" would then be negotiated. This is how the concept of "honeymoon" originated.
Many of these customs have now become redundant, but incorporating them in a wedding ceremony is a great way of paying a tribute to our heritage.
